Parenting

"I met Kim Olver at a time of crisis for my family.  My eighteen year old son was spiraling into angry, self-destructive and risky behavior, and in our fear, my husband and I could not agree about “what to do.”  Reading William Glasser’s Unhappy Teens: A Way for Parents and Teacher to Reach Them. I immediately understood why our past efforts, including lectures, rules, punishments, and even requiring our son to see a therapist, had failed.  Yet applying the new Choice Theory approach was not something I could consistently do from a book.  Kim became my personal guide to understanding and applying Choice Theory to some stressful and even frightening situations.  Kim was truly wonderful.  She was very open and willing to do whatever was needed to help me feel comfortable and build trust.  For example, Kim willingly drove over an hour to our home to meet the whole family and to begin our relationship on a face-to-face basis.  I followed up with her over the phone and through e-mail, and was always sustained by her warm attention and genuine caring.

Although Kim’s positive, yet down-to-earth personality was a major factor in my feeling so comfortable, essential to me was her knowledge and ability to apply Choice Theory.  I would bring up practical problems, and she could frame them in ways that I could see several potential choices and their implications.  Sometimes I would be flooded by emotion—usually fear or anger—and Kim would remind me what choices I was making by feeling emotionally engulfed. Perhaps most useful was Kim’s ability to help me re-phrase the words I wanted to say to my family, to avoid critical, nagging and controlling statements.  She really knows the language of Choice Theory, and can suggest applications for any situation.  Yet I never felt that Kim held herself in any position of authority.  She shared parts of her own story and struggles as a parent, which helped me to bond with her and learn from her example.

My goal was to help my son by building a more positive relationship, when initially there was almost nothing positive going on.  Kim provided me a piece of ground to stand on (Choice Theory), and with her help I was able to expand that base and to change my behavior. That meant deciding what I really did or did not want to do in regard to each of my son’s issues. This process took much pressure off me and the relationship, which has improved considerably.  I credit the year I invested with Kim as my coach, in which I learned a new language, behavior and way of life that has truly made a difference.  I cannot recommend Kim highly enough, and I encourage anyone who thinks they are out of choices to begin working with Kim through her Coaching for Excellence program."

--Gail G. Chicago, IL

"Kim has helped me tremendously with my adolescent daughter who continually pushes my buttons!  She has helped me to better understand my daughter and the reasons why she does what she does.  Kim is always able to help me focus in on the real problem and provide me with the best possible solutions.  I don’t know what I would do without Kim!"

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